Where do I want to go?

I think for me, Japan is the single country I need to visit before I die.  I'm fifth generation American of Japanese ancestry, so it has always been weird living such an American life, but being boxed in to my ancestral homeland.

For the longest time I denied my ethnic heritage, mainly because as a kid, who wants to be different?  It sucks when people mispronounce the food you eat or your name (it's phonetic!), but I took me a long time to embrace the generations-removed ethnic mark left upon me.

Part of what has shaped my identity was the internment of Japanese Americans during World War II.  Really studying the history and the socio-political roots of the tragedy (and finding out that my grandparents and family were all interned) has definitely shaped my identity as distinctly American of Japanese Ancestry - I'm not Japanese at all, I'm very American, yet my ancestors all came from Japan at one point.

For a long time I also tried to distance myself from Japanese culture, just because I always viewed myself as more American than Japanese.  I basically tried to avoid anime and manga, and would only pull out my knowledge of Japanese culture or history or mythology if it was convenient.

But after a long while, I realized that most people are going to see me as Japanese before American, and until we become a more globalized culture, nothing is going to change that.  So, I've decided not to reject things that I might like just because they're Japanese, and have found an incredible love of anime and manga and J-dramas and also super cute stickers.  Damn those stickers.

Anyway, thus, I want to go to Japan to finally come to terms with this ancestral homeland of mine and I think it'll help me continue on my path to fully understanding myself and the way people perceive me.

In terms of getting there, to make sure that I make it I've got to start to travel fund.  Maybe a dollar a month or so (while I'm broke) and then I'll scale it up as the bare necessities (food, shelter, art supplies) gets taken care of more and more.  Not the most revolutionary plan, but one I can tackle.

Not everyone wants to travel the world, but most people can identify at least one place in the world they’d like to visit before they die. Where is that place for you, and what will you do to make sure you get there?

(Author: Chris Guillebeau)

11/02/10

I hope you voted today, even if you weren't as happy about some of the candidates as I was. 

Post-November 4th

I am amazed and filled with conflicting emotions. In a country that can get over their institutionalized racism and elect a half-black man to the greatest position in the country, anti-queer legislature was passed all around.

And California, I am so disappointed in you. While you did the right thing by livestock and animals raised for food, you went and stole the rights from a group of people. I've gotten over my anger and frustration and now just feel sad for those that voted yes on 8. You must be so scared of something - your own insecurity, sexuality, the idea of something different - that you would go as far as to outlaw something that made you uncomfortable.

Additionally, Prop K failed in SF, once again proving that sex workers are seen as less than human and undeserving of protection. Prop V passed, once again allowing military recruiters into our public school systems. Prop H failed, a resounding defeat for the environment.

Sigh. But, there is much to be grateful for. Prop 4 went down, safeguarding teen mother's right to choose. Prop 1A passed, which will help unify the state and create tons of jobs as well as get some cars off the road. Prop 7 and 10 failed - poorly written energy bills that deserved to fail. And of course, the Democratic victories in both the Senate and the House. And we can't forget Obama's victory - a turning point in history. As Eve and I watched his victory speech, I couldn't help but feel inspired and hopeful for our country.

But this joyful exhuberance of Obama mania is tempered by the fact that I don't agree with all of his policies. He does compromise, and whether or not it helps him get more things done, I still mourn the sacrifices that he makes. But his leadership is something remarkable - he is a man that can inspire hope in a broken country, that can make people question the status quo and to push people to give more of themselves to help others who aren't as fortunate. Even if this is not the revolution I've dreamt of - with the government toppling and a community raising up - this is definitely a revolution.

But with that, we cannot become complacent. Racism still exists. Sexism still exists. Homophobia, lookism, ableism, hatred, and violence all still exist and are alive and well in America. Yes, this is a victory to be celebrated, but for all those that want to protect everyone regardless of their place in society, our work is not yet over. And so we can look forward to continuing on the work that we do, the struggles that we face- but this time we can do knowing that we have a leader who is willing to listen and wants the same thing that we want: change.

Awesome Palin post

This is awesome. Like I've said before, I don't like the word "bitch," but the spirit of the post is what I agree on. Just replace it with "ignorant ass-nugget" if you'd like.

Thanks to Megs for the head's up.

We are so Fu*ked

Sigh.

And it's already started: Voters being purged from rolls illegally.

The conspiracy theorist in me immediately kicked in - McCain's already got this one in the bag. Sigh.

I am glad to hear that team Obama apparently already has a whole taskforce of people and lawyers ready to contest what is already looking like a rigged election. But then again, what's new in this country?

More on Palin

Why should I try and articulate something (as per last post) when so many awesome women have said it much better:

http://www.womensenews.org/article.cfm?aid=3738 - on Palin being a woman and her views on single mothers

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jacob-alperinsheriff/sarah-palin-instituted-ra_b_125833.html - on Palin's shitty-ass contribution to rapists

http://www.feministing.com/archives/011047.html - crazy idiots on Palin's pseudo-feminism and real feminists reply to it.

This is just a start of awesome reads. If you want a jumping off point for modern feminism, take a few days and read through www.feministing.com, and you'll see where I'm coming from.

Minted submissions, frustration at people

"Warmest Wishes" and "FromSFWithLove," my latest designs for the Minted.com community design competition. The topic was geographically-inspired designs. I, as per usual, went with less of a traditional design and went more with illustration-based entries. I hope to break the 2.0 average score mark soon. One day...one day...

But if you want to vote, please go here in a few days and vote (but if you vote you have to vote for a lot of them, and vote according to what you like - don't just give everyone else a 0).

Truth be told, I don't really ever expect to win this contest anyway. My sense of what I like and what the Minted.com community likes are two different things entirely. Such is life, but it would be nice to have a design I can sell :P But I guess when I finalize and get my current side-project going, it won't matter anyway.


Anyhoo, on a more serious note, I know every feminist and their mother are posting something about the potential grim reaper that is Senator Palin. Most people automatically assume that feminists are happy about this, as "she's woman, we want equal rights for women, things should be all good, right?"

Wrong. The simple truth is that although Palin asserts that she is a feminist, she is not. A true feminist doesn't play the sexism card at every possible chance. A true feminist plays the sexism card when it's valid. Now I also don't condone attacking her and saying she's a failure as a mother, how will she take care of her kids, etc., etc. I do condone asking "Why are you against teen pregnancy for inner city children but okay when your own daughter gets pregnant?"

Basically, by automaticaly asserting that any criticism on Palin is sexist, the Republican party is making a play for your votes. Then, once Palin is VP, then they can basically roll back reproductive rights (which are already constantly being reduced), and other feminist measures of equality by saying "She approves it, it has to be feminist" when it most decidedly is not feminist.

Just as I don't support Asian Americans who don't see the issue with the fetishization of Asian women or war veterans who support the current war in Iraq, I don't support women who think that everything is all fine and dandy because they have "made it" and want to support the traditional patriarchal nuclear family and it's oppressive values.

Don't buy into false rhetoric. Just because people belong to a certain minority group does not mean that they are representative of that minority group's feelings as a whole. They way any dominant hegemony stays in power is allowing few select individuals of the minority into power. This way, by saying "look, they made it, why can't you?" it passes the blame of failing to embrace a highly prejudiced system onto you. By holding Michelle Malkin, Condolezza Rice, and Sarah Palin up as model women, they can then say "We don't discriminate against Asians Americans. We don't discriminate against Black Americans. We don't discriminate against women, period!" and most people will buy it. DON'T BUY IT!

I don't know if I ended up babbling incoherently, but I am just so frustrated by how people are actually listening to this nonsense. Please, check your priviledge, check your racism, and really evaluate who the hell is going to be a decent choice to lead this screwed-up nation of ours. If you like our crappy economy, our war, our unemployment rate, our xenophobia, please, vote McCain/Palin. If you want someone who at least understands the working-class people, vote Obama/Biden. They aren't perfect, but they're damn well amazing compared to the alternative.

Birthday spunk

First off, thanks to everyone that called, IM'd, left facebook messages, emailed, or made it out to the Buckshot for my birthday. Special thanks to those that traveled from Stockton and the East Bay, and I had a great time!

Anyhoo, I'm in a pretty feisty mood right now. I'm totally all fired up and want to punch a corporate jerk right now. Well, more like "I'm in the mood to volunteer to clean up a beach, or help organize a protest," but yeah, the idea of punching is much more visceral, immediate, and funny (although it's not funny if someone actually gets punched).


But that is beyond the point. So two incidents that make me both happy and sad.

1. At my birthday get-together at the bar, some creepy white guy (important due to sociological power dynamics) comes up and gets all up in one of my female friend's face and tries to kiss her. She says "eww, get off me" and he lingers. I shout "Hey, she has a boyfriend, back off." He says something like "I'm married, it's not a big deal." (Yes, like being married is an excuse to be a jerk...if this is true I feel sorry for his wife). I then respond with "Why don't you stop sexually assaulting people you fucking dickhead," then I turn around back to my shuffleboard. He later walks by and whispers to me "It's fine if you want to talk big in front of your girlfriend, but if you want to brawl, let's take this outside." I respond with "Whatever. I don't fight idiots."

So this story make me happy, as I totally called this guy on his shit, but it fucking pisses me off as I still felt so helpless as he tried to harass my friend. I wanted to give in and go fight that guy outside (although he was probably a lot stronger than me and I've never been in a fight) as sometimes I wonder if people like that just need to get basic human decency smashed into their face with a pool cue. But I realize that if I play their game, they win, and if I keep it all verbal, I win. The jerk eventually left (although I was worried he'd just stick around and harass my friends) and I then proceeded to get really drunk and enjoy myself. But for the first hour or so after that happened, I felt the urge to just bash a stool over that guy's face.

2. I got called in for jury duty today. When it came for me to introduce myself to the court, I told them I worked for UCPD before, my friend got his hand shattered by a rubber bullet, and when the judge asked me if my experiences would allow me to be an impartial juror, I replied "No offense to anyone in this room, but I don't believe the criminal justice system works."
I was quickly excused and they went on their lunch break.

Now, it may seem like I just said this to get out of jury duty, but honestly, with all the police brutality, the overflowing of prisons filled with non-violent crimes, the fact that the war profiteerers aren't criminals but people who grow pot are, I don't have a lot of faith that the criminal justice system is working. Believe me, I am a firm believer of a trial by one's peers. But I also believe in justice, not necessarily the law. Why is cocaine less of an offense than crack? Why does our government use weapons that cause birth defects? Our laws are fucked up. As a compromise to my crazy utopian ideals, I'm down with the idea of police, but police that stand up for what is right, not for what is easier or what the law says.
Laws are rules written by rich white men, not rules agreed upon by all. Even the constitution is suspect to me, as they sure as hell didn't have the opinions of any women or people of color. I'm down with constitutional guarantees, as I agree with the spirit of it, but a rewrite with the input of the minorities would be much better.

3. I realized that I was part of the 2% that voted for Ralph Nader when Gore lost the presidential election by 2%. Now, most democrats (well, I should say most people in general) say that we're to blame. I used to be a bit ashamed of that, I used to think that maybe if I just compromised a little and voted for Gore, things would be a lot better.

But then I had an epiphany. I realized that it wasn't the fault of 2% of voters that caused Bush to become president. It's the fault of the 51% that voted for a completely incompetent and dangerous moron. You blame the Greens and Nader for the lost? I blame the Democrats for not being more progressive. However, even more so I blame the Republicans for..well, being the conservative anti-humanitarians they are. In my mind, 2% of us got it right.

I think it's a sad state of affairs when idealists are blamed for trying to make things better. We didn't compromise. We voted for who we believed would be the best candidate for making the world a better place.

stockton is lame-sauce

So I was totally going to publish my first oil painting* ever, but I can't find the cable to hook my camera to my computer, and it's too large for my scanner. Poop. But it's in B&W and it's decent (kinda). Anyway, for never taking an actual painting class before, I'm pretty proud of it.

My classes are cool. I can already tell homework is going to get pretty frickin' bananas later on, but for now, I can at least breathe. The worst class is my online one, cuz I feel like I never remember to log in and do all the reading until waaay late. Sigh.

Illustration 1 is pretty cool so far, but we shall see how things go, as the assignments are only going to get crazier.

Also, I totally voted for neither Obama nor Clinton, as I hate the electoral college and believe in voting for who I would actually want to win. That said, I do kinda hope Obama takes it, as I figure the guy (although not that great on policy) can whip up an emotional fervor, which most Americans care about. People too often vote by who seems the coolest or who seems most likely to beat the Republican, rather than by who has the better policies.

I'm still waiting for a queer woman of color to become president. A guy can dream, right?

Anyway, I was checking out Diana's blog, and found this in an older post:

"Forbes’ Misery Measure determines the most miserable cities in the US. They are

1. Detroit, Michigan
2. Stockton, California
3. Flint, Michigan
4. New York, New York
5. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
6. Chicago, Illinois
7. Los Angeles, California
8. Modesto, California
9. Charlotte, North Carolina
10. Providence, Rhode Island"

Now you ask why I'm always a bit sad to tell people I'm from Stockton? And that is why I now live in San Francisco.