Monday, June 13, 2011

Doing the thing I fear

What do you fear?  I fear not making it just by selling my ties and paintings and living off my art.  I fear not being able to survive on that alone.

Was the insecurity worth it?  No.  Your fear was unheeded, your worries (while legitimate) were just that-worries.  You won't be happy if you aren't doing what you're really doing.  All this filler that you've created in your life to keep yourself busy is unnecessary.  Just frickin' paint and tell stories and do your thing that the rest will come.  Believe me.  In 10 years, any failures or blunders or mistakes won't matter, although I can't tell for sure since you'll be your true self a lot sooner than you think.

You just have to cut out all the other stuff in your life that's getting in your way.  Stop blaming other things and do the work.  Just go out there, do the work, and fucking enjoy the ride already.

Ug, I think this post was the hardest for me to write yet, which shows me that I really don't believe in myself yet.  While I have to trust that I can do it, I found it incredibly difficult to tell myself that everything will be okay if you just do the work.  I don't see myself making the type of money I need to do the things I want to do in the timeframe that I would need to, but I'm not sure which way to play this. Do the alarm bells in my head mean that I need to just grab a knife and throw myself into the shark-infested deep side of the pool, or do I need to stay in the shallow side until I at least can cobble together a spear gun?  Arrrrggggg, having faith in yourself is hard!!!

Is fear holding you back from living your fullest life and being truly self expressed? Put yourself in the shoes of the you who’s already lived your dream and write out the answers to the following:
Is the insecurity you’re defending worth the dream you’ll never realize? or the love you’ll never venture? or the joy you’ll never feel?
Will the blunder matter in 10 years? Or 10 weeks? Or 10 days? Or 10 minutes?
Can you be happy being anything less than who you really are?
Now Do. The Thing. You Fear.
(Author: Lachlan Cotter)

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